...AND MY HEART BLED
Yesterday, my heart bled a little. Words are sharp-edged swords, you know. It wasn't the word that pierced through my heart. The fact that it came from someone I love, tore me apart. No, it wasn't said in the heat of an argument. I would have forgiven that. People lose their temper. They scream. They use crass words in a fit of rage. At some point, they realize they have transgressed. They are overcome with guilt. They apologize.
This was different. We had a disagreement, a prolonged silence followed and then came the word. I froze for a minute staring at my phone screen. What shocked me was the casualness and ease with which the person typed it. Did not the fingers move towards the delete button, even for a second? It pained to think they didn't. I realized that all this while, I was smothered in a cloud of false opinions about the person and our relationship.
It hurts to know that you can become meaningless in a second. Your togetherness, your secrets, your promises, everything, gets compressed into one word that is said without thought or guilt, and it reduces everything you shared to nothingness.
A part of me wanted to go back and fight for us to be together in spite of the hurt. Don't we all do that - go back to the people who break us - because attachment is stronger than hurt?
There was another part of me that questioned me: When you say, "Let's forget about it and move on," do you want it to sound like an apology to yourself to be with someone who belittles you? It isn't love's job to punish you, is it?
I curled up inside myself. I decided to let my trusted architect friend do the work for me. Time. It constantly builds and unbuilds our relationships.
From Once Upon A Reverie.
@Once.upon.a.reverie
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